Taking Control

"Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?"
Martyn Lloyd-Jones Spiritual Depression


And what do we say to ourselves? Start with scripture - speak truth to yourself - affirm your dependence on God, your need for God and your confidence in God.

Lamentations 3:39 - Why should any living man or any mortal offer complaint in view of his sins?

Find your way at the foot of the cross of Christ - every day, every day.

Charing Cross in London is one of twelve crosses erected in the year 1291 along the burial route of Queen Eleanor en route to Westminster Abby. The procession stopped and rested at each cross. The original cross became dilapidated and in 1865 was replaced and erected at nearby Charing Cross Station. The original site of the cross was at the exact center of London. All distances were measured from the Charing Cross.

Years ago, a little boy, lost in London, was asked by a cabbie, "Do you know where you live?" The boy said, "No." The cabbie asked, "Do you know where you live from Charing Cross?" and the little boy said, "Yes. If you take me to the cross, I can find my way from there."

We can all find our way back from where ever we've wandered by starting at the cross.

Lion Taming Strategies

What to do when encountering an angry or difficult person . . .

Remember that you can only have one attitude at a time and so you have to choose between love and fear - that's the big goal - to choose love over fear, so here goes:

1. Slow down. Breath deeply and ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words and attitudes you need.

2. Separate the person from their behavior, remember that they are frightened or irrational and you can only choose one: fear or love

3. Resist the temptation to defend yourself especially if you've done nothing wrong - be creative and try new tactics (loving ones) i.e. go the extra mile to solve the persons problem.

4. Separate your reaction from yourself - I'm angry because of things I haven't dealt with in my own life (fear) not because this person has any power over me.

5. Stretch your comfort zone: go the extra mile to be kind and helpful; apologize; override your hesitation to express love or regret.

6. Be patient with yourself. Remember you're a beginner just learning and developing a new skill set.

7. Imagine the worst and create and practice your positive response to it.

8. Don't characterize others as 'difficult' in the first place.

9. Allow fear a place in your comfort zone by re-naming the feeling (physical) like: muscle courage, bravery, growth, stretching or progress. Make friends with conflict before you meet it.

10. When we characterize someone in our mind as difficult, we have frozen an incomplete picture in our minds of that person and we automatically filter out everything that doesn't fit into what we've already decided that person is, so when we're with them we only see the negative and stop there. Sometimes we even urge others to apply to a person the same label we have applied, which is gossip/slander.

So we have 'characterized' them - which is a negative judgement plus fear.

Remember: People irritate us because because they are acting just like us. We see in them the same characteristic that we can't accept about ourselves.

So the goal is to move from reaction (fear) to empathizing (love).

Henry Drummond says that love can take you anywhere and prepare you for any situation. SO true.

Hope the tips are helpful! :)